My Immortal: Commentary by Me
by panicatheboy
Summary: Come with me on this epic journey of commentating on this MASTERPIECE by fanfiction writer, Tara Gillesbie.
1. Chapter 1

**Here goes nothing.**

**For your entertainment, I am adding my commentary to the famous fanfiction, written by Tara Gillesbie, called My Immortal. Just so you know, I have read most of the Harry Potter books, so I kinda know who the characters are and their personalities.**

**I know what you're thinking: Oh there's so many of these, The idea is so unoriginal, blah blah blah. That's fine to have an opinion, but I just felt the need to do this. Mostly, to waste my time.**

**(My commentary will be in bold.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this work of art**.

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AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)** Guys, just giving you a heads up, she will be using the phrase 'geddit' WAAAY too often. I just- I don't know.** 2 my gf (ew not in that way) **What's wrong with 'liking someone in that way' anyways?** raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.** Doesn't look like she's of much help.** U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! **No, please don't ruin My Chemical Romance for me. I am begging you. **

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **What's up with the long ass name? **and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) **That makes perfect sense! Your mother knew what color your hair was going to be before you were born, it's all coming together! **with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears **Wait what? **and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). **Guess I'm staying.** I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **Incest much? **I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. **As opposed to... **I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)** Nooo, we couldn't. It's so hard to notice!** and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. **Wait doesn't Hot Topic sell Harry Potter and YouTuber merch and stuff like that?** For example today I was wearing **Oh dear Lord. People, brace for the clothing descriptions that none of us care about. **a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets **pink? But I thought you were 'goffik.'** and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, **But if you're a vampire, then that means you don't need the white foundation? You're already pale. **black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **THIS MAKES TO SENSE! Snowing and raining- That's it; I give up. **so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. **Wait, so you were happy about no sun? We need the sun to grow our crops and to, basically, live. **A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. **How nice. **

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **Why would he need to talk to you if he just wanted nothing?**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

**No, it's not good. There are more errors in here than there are in my homework from first grade.**

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**Thanks for reading! If you want more, please tell me. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again, guys!**

**If I'm feeling up to it, you guys will get a daily update.**

**Let's get on with it, shall we?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own 'My Immortal.'**

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Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! **Psh, couldn't've been of much help.** BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. **That's weird; I usually wake up in my pajamas. **It was snowing and raining again. **Okay, hasn't someone explained this to you already? It can't snow and rain at the same time. **I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **It's always good to keep spare blood around. Right, dead body in my closet? Thought so. **My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink **pink? **velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR **Couldn't type out the whole name? **t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on ***sigh* **a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) **I'm pretty sure she already knows. **woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. **So, she grinned at you, and _then _opened her eyes? Pretty damn talented. **She put on ***hits head on desk* **her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, **Again, couldn't bother to type out the whole thing? **I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall. **Of course! If you see someone talking to another person, they MUST have a crush on them. It's all coming together, thanks Tara!**

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **I thought you didn't have a crush on him?**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **Hm... That's a bit odd. A muggle band preforming in Hogsmeade?**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. **You NEED to start typing out the band name. Seriously, it's getting on my last nerve. **They are my favorite band, besides MCR. **sTOP**

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped. ******Such suspense!**

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**Well, that was a shit chapter. **

**Thanks for reading! Another installment later or tomorrow. **

**On another note, it's been really cold here. Last night, we didn't even have a temperature. What's the weather like where you're at?**

**AN**


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